@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
