Christians are straight up FREAKS
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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