Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
