Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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