yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
