I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
