My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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