no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Little spoons don't ask big questions
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
