Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
