trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
i believe in u and ur pee
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
