Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize
