I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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