i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize