Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
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