Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
two words...techno handjob
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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