we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize