I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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