whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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