Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
time to smoke my breakfast
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
