Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
