Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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