How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize