Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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