Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
