i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
What a dumb baby whore.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
