just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
