Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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