We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
last night I used snow as a chaser
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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