idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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