I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
