Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize