North Korea, Best Korea!
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
