I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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