I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I just googled if crying burns calories
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
