I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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