she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
