if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
