just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i just sent this text using only my big toe
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize