He disabled his match.com account in front of me
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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