Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Randomize
