i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
