he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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