3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
