Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
