you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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