"it" just moved
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
