Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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