question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
