Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
