he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
What a dumb baby whore.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
