My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
porn star boner night. come get it.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize
