it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
