That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
