he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
