just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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