So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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