Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
so let's talk penis.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
