Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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