Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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