I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Randomize
