The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
