just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
