so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
