omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
