I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
