just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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