Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
