I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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