If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
His nipple licking is glorious
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