So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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