Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
My ATM looks so different sober.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
