See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Less talking, more tequila
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
