No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize