see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
