He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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